JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
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I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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