Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
why didn't you poke me back
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
