I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
