he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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