well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
