she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
