I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you will always have a special place in my vag
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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