Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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