I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
well you can't waste a boner
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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