1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
