I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
