At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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