have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
