So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
