I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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