Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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