Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
