I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
