I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
