How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
