I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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