can we get nightvision for the apartment?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
