I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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