My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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