omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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