She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
