I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
