ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
