so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
