Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
