I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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