fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
this beer tastes like vomit already
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
