No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
