she looked like the before picture.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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