we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
