Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
