I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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