I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
