i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
