It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
