I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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