So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Ladies don't puke and tell
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
