yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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