dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
