covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
