Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
