It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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