what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
