she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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