dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
