What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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