remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
