Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
