I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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