How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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