Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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