Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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