drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
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He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
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On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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