That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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