if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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